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There is something quietly infuriating about being told you are supported when you are not. The word gets thrown around a lot. We support you. We are here for you. Just let us know what you need. But when the pressure hits or the cracks start to show, the people saying it often disappear, leaving you with a handful of compliments and no actual help.
Support is not a sentiment. It is an action. It means noticing when someone is stretched thin and asking what can be taken off their plate. It is not calling them resilient while watching them burn out, or praising their flexibility while continuing to move the goalposts. Real support does not flatter. It shows up.
There is a particular kind of exhaustion that sets in when you realise the praise you are getting is just a smokescreen for inaction. You are doing the work of two or three people, and instead of being given backup or boundaries, you are handed applause and a vague thank you. That is not support. That is neglect with a smile.
And often, what is called “support” takes the shape of expectation. You are asked to take on tasks that sit outside your role, outside your training, or well outside your pay grade. You are expected to learn as you go, to stretch without complaint, to carry responsibilities that were meant for someone further up the ladder. It is framed as trust. As opportunity. But what it really does is shift the burden without shifting the backing. No time. No training. No extra pay. Just more pressure, dressed up as professional development.
If you name the imbalance, you are seen as difficult. If you stay quiet, you are treated as fine. The result is a workplace that sees your competence but not your cost.
Some of the most isolating moments come after being told how valuable you are. It is meant as reassurance, but when nothing changes, it only highlights how alone you are in the doing. The praise makes it harder to speak up. The compliments become a soft silence where support should be.
If people really want to support you, they will ask how they can reduce the strain. They will believe you when you say things are hard. They will not assume your calm means you are coping or your skill means you are fine. They will listen, without waiting for you to hit a breaking point. That is what real support looks like.
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If you are ready for support that actually reduces the load, book a free call and we will put the right structure in place.